Hi, hello, how are you? Long time no see!
I thought I’d do a little life update as I’ve disappeared from here… again. I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting on where I am today and things that I miss dearly and want back.
This is my last year in school and the one thing I want to do this year is to grow a routine, a life that I really love. A routine that’ll keep me happy and proud of everything I accomplish in a day. I want a routine in which I work my ass off studying, growing my knowledge in the field I want a career in, as well as showing love to the creative side of me.
I worked a 9 to 5 internship job at a big corporate company this summer and I felt many things during the three months I was there. Of course, I was happy that I finally had a job in a good company, but I felt more than just that naive excitement. I felt inadequate, like an imposter, and alone. I felt judged for who I am and how I looked. I felt like I was drifting from day to day but the one thing I always had for myself was the mornings.
The mornings in which I’d be up before anyone else at 5 of 4:45 in the morning, rolling out of my bed, heading out to the gym, and squeezing in ten pages of reading before starting my day. That fresh breath of air driving through the trees to my gym and driving back under orange and blue skies as the sun rose made me so happy.
This school year, I want that back. I want back the early mornings, I want that routine back that made me happy when other things didn’t. I want the mornings for me to be me, to study, to run out of air from exercising and filling my lungs/breathe in some fresh air on the way back home.
I want the mornings back to make me feel better about myself so I can have the happiness and strength to do so much more with my life and to prove people wrong. I want the mornings to teach myself to use the early hours to stop drifting but to embrace life and live.
I want these mornings so in the next year, when I hopefully find myself a job, I’ll be able to go into my career driven with confidence, stability, and happiness for what I know I can do and who I am but also for afterwards when I’m home with my books, journals, and the millions of ideas I want to express creatively.
I want my mornings back. What is one thing you want back that will make your life a little bit better and make you more happy?