Monthly Intentions: May

May stands for “may I please get my life back together?”.

The past few weeks have been a mess. I’m sitting outside, on a windy Tuesday night writing this post because it feels suffocating to write it inside.

I absolutely love my apartment, my tiny little home full of stacks of books and other loved possessions. But the past few weeks have just been so busy and they’ve honestly left me feeling emotionally and physically drained and fresh air seems to be the only thing that doesn’t feel heavy enough to weigh me down even more.

All the routines I’ve managed to build and love have slipped through the cracks of everyday chaos and fallen apart. That wave of productivity I was riding in March has crashed.

Everything feels out of control. Usually, I complain or stress about the fact that I don’t want to live a life where I just drift through the days and that I want to live each and every moment with intention. Well I don’t feel like I’m drifting anymore, I feel like I’m drowning.

All I know is that we’re nearing the half way mark of the year and I don’t want to start month six in chaos. I want to go into June with some semblance of control and organization. A lot of the stuff on my monthly to do list are things that just scare me and I avoid and carry over into each month. May is going to be the month of action so I’m hoping to get some if not all of my list done.

As a little inspiration to you, I’m going to share some of my to do list items:

• Mail the things that have been piling up in the corner of my apartment and get over my fear of the post office.
• Call an exterminator. I’ve been living in fear in my place for far too long. I’m scared about calling an exterminator because rumor is that after they do their little pesticide spray, there’s a chance I’m going to see more of what I don’t want to see. I’m already lying in bed for way too long and waking up late because I’m scared to get out of the safety of my bed so it’s honestly a double edged sword kind of situation. I just need to adult up and do it.

As for goals:

• I want to get my mornings back, which means fixing my sleep schedule, which means figuring out my post work/evening routine. I really want to try time blocking this month and see how it works out for my post work life. When things get really busy at work, I time block so I want to see if it’s helpful out of work.
• Drink more smoothies and water, water takes priority because hydration is important.
• I want to start daily journaling more. Things have been stressful lately and I think it’ll be super helpful for me to write it all down and get out of my mind whenever I can.

How about you? What do you hope to accomplish in May?