What a year! This year was a wonderful mix of some not so good things and some amazing things. 2019 just felt like such a weird year. It was just there and I felt like I was left dangling midair, trying to get an understanding of how fickle time is, how much my life is on the verge of change that’s going to build me into a real “adult”, and my first steps into my future professional life. Oh, and I started a bookstagram account.
I’ve been on instagram for a while now. I think I started posting on my first original instagram right before I left for my first year of college. Four whole years ago, I took a step into a whole new world that led me to find bookstagram.
In 2019, I started my bookstagram and found a whole new family and a group of friends who I talk to almost daily or weekly. Everyone’s so sweet, so passionate, and so inspiring. There’s just something about books that makes everything feel so magical, welcoming, and full of so much hope for a world that’s full of love and acceptance. The world’s a scary place and real life for me can become so easily overwhelming. Reading, books, and exploring my creativity is an escape that I will forever be grateful for.
The first half of 2019 was full of opportunities, amazing books that have become my lifetime favorites, and memories. The highs were amazing and freeing.
2019 was the year of LGBTQ+ books that have cemented their way into my heart. It was the year of reading about powerful POC women who take life by it’s throat and run with. It was the year of coming of age stories that are so painfully relatable. 2019 was the year of adult romance books that I will reread for the rest of my life just as often as I rebinge my favorite Netflix tv shows (which is a lot).
The second half of 2019 was full of trying to make it through each day and not letting my emotions and the real world take me down. The lows were crippling and draining. I think 2019 was the worst year in terms of how I viewed and felt about myself. I hid myself from everything, everybody, and even myself.
This year, I want to maximize productivity. My career field requires constant revision, studying, and learning new things. I know the first step is overwhelming and that it’s the biggest step. I’ve taken some steps during my winter vacation regarding my career. I started walking but I need to keep things moving and not let the fear and stress freeze me up.
I want to enjoy this semester, which is my last year of college. I still can’t believe that. My classes this year are hard so I want to find myself a good schedule that will make things a bit less overwhelming.
Time is moving too fast and yet too slow. It’s leaving me a mess every day when I wake up and realize that things are ending soon and other things are going to be starting whether I’m ready or not. I want to journal a lot more frequently and write out my thoughts, fears, and all the emotional luggage I drag around with me everyday.
This year, I don’t want to hide myself. I want to start loving myself again.
Creativity, my gosh creativity. My little passionate escape of journaling, reading, blogging, and picture taking. I want to keep working on it this year. I want to be more consistent on posting here, interacting with other blogs, and also work on my instagram. I want to write and keep up with reviews. I want to widen the variety of blog posts I publish. I want to try to film tiny little IGTV videos I can edit and put up on my instagram feed and even here. I want to keep creating.
I’m going to set my goal at 53 books because that’s how many I read last year and it would be amazing if I could beat that. An unrealistic goal for my reading would be hitting 60 books. I don’t know how plausible that is this year but I’m going to work for it!
I want to expand my reading taste. Last year I found a whole new genre, adult romance, that I absolutely fell in love with. This year, I want to find a new genre that I’m going to love just as much. I want to try to read adult fiction novels, memoirs, biographies, nonfiction, and definitely a lot more fantasy. I want to go the library each month and pick out a random book from the shelf and give it a go.
I want to make 2020 a year that I’ll be proud of how much I accomplish. I want this year to be the year where I prove to myself who I am, what I’m capable of, and that my dreams are worth it.