In the season of Spring and warmer, lighter months, I really wanted to put out a romance guide of books that I love and would recommend to people but as I sat down to make my list of books, I couldn’t think of anything I haven’t talked about previously.
I know it’s only the third month into the year but I don’t feel like I’m the same reader as I was last year. I’m reaching for romance a lot less than I used to. I think this romance slump is a result of the fact that all the romances I’ve recently read were average or below average reads. All the romance books I’ve recently read haven’t sparked the same joy they once used to.
And joy was the reason I spent most of last year reading romance.
The romance genre is such an escape for me because the story feels both intimate and light hearted which is my favorite combination of feelings. You get drawn into the plot with hope, amusement, or some internal feeling you just can’t name. All in all, you get drawn into a plot that feels like a hug.
When I looked into why I love the romance genre, I realized that it’s because it’s centered around the exploration of human connection. There are so many types of human connections, both platonic and non-platonic, that carry so much weight and purpose that this idea and concept of love feels heavy and tangible.
I thought that in lieu of the passing month of love and a season of hope and warmth, I’d share some of the relationships that have etched their way home in my heart and why I love them the way I do.
Book: Dava Shastri’s Last Day by Kirthana Ramisetti
The love in this relationship was one of support, sacrifice, and simple beginnings. It was also a bit messy and trigger warnings for cheating but Dava and Arvind’s story has imprinted itself into my brain. “Dava Shastri’s Last Day” is not a romance book. It is a story about a woman starting an empire and her last day on Earth as she observes and reflects how she got to where she is and where it’s going to go when she’s no longer there. It follows Dava through the big moments of her life, including the one where she meets her soon to be husband and stolen moments where they bond over music on top of a cliff, overseeing the sun. It’s simple, it’s easy, and it’s the beginning of a relationship. I love the relationship in this story because we don’t follow the entirety of the timeline of their relationship but rather a handful of big moments. But in this handful of moments, we got to see how they grew with each other and for each other, with support and sacrifice as their foundation. Dava’s life was one of a fast moving train but the way those big flashy moments ended with her finding Arvind at the end of the day felt some homely and comforting. The scenes between Arvind and her were written in a way that it was clear that whenever she was with him, she was home. I love the feeling of coming home but home being a person.
Feel free to check out my full review on this book here!
Book: On Earth We’re Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong
This book is very hard to talk about because it’s very hard to read and very hard to stop reading. Little Dog and his mother have a complicated relationship torn apart by war, trauma, abuse, fear, and emotional barriers that almost feel tangible,. The writing makes you both mad and empathetic towards their relationship and the push and pull is so very real, raw, and authentic to how many people feel in their own relationships with their loved ones.
This deep desire to love, care, and nurture while simultaneously feeling pushed down into the ground from pressure and fear that’s been brought on by a past that was never yours is a commonality in a family of immigrants. A family where roots are sewn in different worlds and the languages, both the literal and the not so literal, are completely different. This book explores relationships that aren’t so white or black, but a beautiful gray, a blending of the past, present, and future. The letter Little Dog writes to his mother evokes a spectrum of feelings, emotions, thoughts, and truths that so many haven’t been able to vocalize in an unforgettable, gorgeous way. It really makes you look at your family and yourself differently.
Book: The Anthropocene Reviewed by John Green
This past December, I spent the entirety of the month, making my way through “The Anthropocene Reviewed” by John Greene. There was this one chapter called, “Bonneville Salt Flats”, where John was talking about his relationship with his wife and quoted Donald Hall about the death of Donald’s wife, the poet, Jane Kenyon.
“We did not spend our days gazing into each other’s eyes. We did that gazing when we made love or when one of us was in trouble, but most of the time our gazes met and entwined as they looked at a third thing. Third things are essential to marriages, objects or practices or habits or arts or institutions or games or human beings that provide a site of joint rapture or contentment. Each member of a couple is separate; the two come together in double attention.”
I think the most romantic element of a relationship isn’t the romance but simply the act of “being”. The idea of someone there, following you around in a life that was singular for so long until it evolved to fit this other person. Hobbies, passions, and thoughts that were once yours become ours. The presence of that being and having that “third thing” seems to me to be the most romantic thing in a relationship. This doesn’t apply only to romantic relationships but to platonic ones as well. The idea of having a “third thing” is so simple, for example, it can be reading books or watching horror movies, but this one nonsensical thing that you claim to be your “third thing” will be a powerful anchor in a relationship that once wasn’t a relationship but two individuals going about their life, silently independent.